OMG you got the “Sorry. We loved you but we loved other candidates more” email.
You thought you nailed the interview. That job was yours–you just had to wait for the email with the offer.
These are difficult situations yet you have to recover quickly in order to get your job search going again.
First, some recruiter insider realities:
- They may not have more candidates. They may be starting the search all over again. They may have decided to redefine the position, eliminate it, assign it to someone else in the company, and many other things that you would never guess from their “thanks but no thanks” email.
- Unless you ask the recruiter for a little feedback on what made them decide not to move you forward, you may be thinking harsh things about yourself that aren’t true.
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Here are a few steps to deal with this disappointment and get back your energy, confidence and enthusiasm that are so necessary to end your job search.
- Don’t keep telling yourself this story over and over again. Tell it once to someone who will reassure you. I think that’s a really good thing to do. Someone who can help you think through this, but them I’m going to suggest that you do not tell it again. Don’t tell it out loud, and don’t tell it to yourself mentally.
- Try to avoid spending time constantly fussing, making comments on social media sites about your bad experience, maybe cursing about the company, the people, the process. In the moment, it may feel like you’re getting your anger and frustration out so you can move on. Unfortunately, it’s probably just driving that anger, frustration, disappointment, etc., even deeper. At a time when your attitude is so critical to landing a job, you don’t want those emotions as undercurrent.
As recruiter, I can tell you that most recruiters will sense something feels uncomfortable when they talk to you. We all, even you, pick up on the feelings of the person we’re talking to. While I may not know exactly what is in that undercurrent, but I’m going to be uncomfortable moving you forward to the hiring manager.
- Don’t spend time reading articles or instant messaging or talking on social media with people who are angry about how corporate recruiting works. Everybody has a right to feel angry about how they were treated. But don’t hang out with people who are spending their time complaining about it, because that won’t make you feel any better in the long run. Worse for your job search future–it is very damaging to your attitude.
The minute somebody starts talking about their bad experience, the minute someone says, “Well this is what hiring managers should do, and this is what recruiters should do, and this is how it should work.” I’m going to suggest that you stop reading or listening–for your own mental health. They may have a point, but it’s not going to change anything. You know it. It’s not going to make you feel better either.
After a few of those, you’re going to want to kick something, so stop reading them. Learn how to be successful within the system we’ve got. The more you can allow yourself just live with the system as it is, the quicker you’re going to find a job. Maybe when you get hired, you will change it!
Best wishes for a fast and fabulous conclusion to your search.
P.S. Set up your free interview strategy session (link at the bottom right) and let’s nail your next interview for sure!